The 5 Most Offensive South Park Christmas Episodes In Order From Bad To Worst
It's that time of year when people cuddle up with some hot cocoa to watch holiday specials from their favorite TV shows. While many series are lucky to have one or two episodes about Christmas or other holidays, "South Park" has quite a few. In fact, the holiday holds special significance for the animated sitcom, as the true story behind the making of "South Park" is that it started as a video Christmas card. It caught the attention of the right people, and a new profane TV show was born.
Therefore, it may not come as a surprise to see that "South Park" has gone back to the Christmas well repeatedly over the years, constantly needing to one-up itself each time. And given how Christmas is typically seen as a cheery, joyful holiday, it should come as no surprise that "South Park" has twisted the season to its own nefarious machinations time and time again.
If you're planning on watching the "South Park" Christmas episodes in order, you may want to know what you're in for. Going from least offensive to most, here are the "South Park" Christmas specials to watch out for the most. And while they're ranked, you probably don't want to watch any of them with your grandma in the same room.
5. Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo (Season 1, Episode 9)
"South Park" quickly earned a reputation for its toilet humor, and it double-downed on that idea early in its run with Season 1's "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo." Mr. Hankey is a sentient piece of poo that only Kyle is aware of initially. Kyle's depressed because everyone else in South Park has fun decorating and looking forward to Christmas, but since he's Jewish, his family doesn't celebrate. Instead, he wants everyone to sing about Mr. Hankey, who doesn't discriminate, but people simply make fun of him.
The episode gets the most out of having a piece of poo everywhere. After Cartman sings a mean song about Kyle's mom, Mr. Hankey lunges at him, but everyone thinks Kyle threw it. Also, Mr. Hankey bathes himself in Mr. Mackey's coffee at one point, which he notices and also assumes Kyle is behind. It's a big reason why fans tend to skip all of the Mr. Hankey episodes. It's definitely not the episode to watch if you're eating some festive fudge, but honestly, it's relatively tame compared to "South Park" standards.
If you can get over the fact there's talking poop the entire time, it's fairly sweet. Mr. Hankey may be nutty and corny sometimes, but he brings a good message about how people should focus on coming together for the holidays rather than focusing on the things that divide us. Plus, it's the rare early "South Park" episode where Kenny doesn't die, so it's kind of nice for that reason, too.
4. Merry Christmas, Charlie Manson! (Season 2, Episode 16)
Taking taboo subjects and turning them absurd is something of a specialty for "South Park," and the show decided to mix things up for its subsequent Christmas outing with "Merry Christmas, Charlie Manson!" The story sees the four boys travel to Nebraska to spend the holidays with Cartman's relatives, and in the process, they get mixed up with his Uncle Howard and his friend, Charles Manson. Of course, people call him "Charlie" as a nod to "A Charlie Brown Christmas," but he's still a blood-lusting cult leader with a swastika on his forehead.
That's how he is at the start of the episode, but just like the Grinch, his heart grows three times its size as he slowly learns the true meaning of Christmas, even replacing the swastika with a smiley face. Later, when Uncle Howard holds the family hostage, Manson is the one who convinces him to give it up, going back to jail because he knows he's hurt too many people ever to be free again.
While everything's fairly cheery on the surface, there's an underlying darkness to the episode. Viewers actually may come to like Manson at a certain point, which is an uncomfortable position to be in.
3. Christmas Snow (Season 23, Episode 10)
"South Park" hasn't lost its edge since its 1997 debut. "Christmas Snow" starts in a dark place right from the start, with Santa Claus asking the people of the small mountain town to avoid drinking and driving. The only problem is people can only stand to be with their loved ones for so long if they're blitzed out of their minds, so Santa institutes an alcohol ban. Randy, now a marijuana farmer at this point in the show, tackles the issue head-on by selling a special Christmas-themed marijuana strain that's laced with cocaine.
Eventually, marijuana gets outlawed, so Randy is stuck selling cocaine after it's been legalized. Once again, Santa doesn't like this, so he tries to stop Randy from selling cocaine, leading to him trying it. Somehow, "South Park" manages to one-up that by having Jesus Christ try cocaine, too. It's a blasphemous holiday extravaganza, with "South Park" pushing the limits of good taste like always.
As if watching Santa and Jesus try cocaine wasn't enough, there's also an incredibly dark sequence of the adults driving through town while intoxicated. This leads to numerous bloody crashes as well as people (and a dog) dying. "South Park" may have had to hide darkness in previous seasons through a lens of sentimentality, like in "Merry Christmas, Charlie Manson!" At this point, the show can do pretty much whatever it wants, and if people complain, it's their fault for not knowing what the show is about.
2. Red Sleigh Down (Season 6, Episode 17)
"Red Sleigh Down" first aired in 2002. The 9/11 attacks were fresh in people's minds, and the United States was on the precipice of war in the Middle East. Targeting terrorism for satirization may have been difficult for some shows, but "South Park" went full steam ahead.
The Christmas special sees Cartman attempt to get on the nice list by convincing Santa to bring Christmas to Iraq. However, Santa's sleigh is shot down, and he's tortured as a result. The boys then have to recruit Jesus Christ to save him, but Jesus dies in the process. Jesus' death is there for more than simply shock value, as when the boys return to South Park, they tell the townspeople how they shouldn't focus so much on Santa and presents for the holidays. Instead, they should remember Jesus and all he did for us.
The irony of trying to bring Christmas to a mostly Muslim country shouldn't be lost on anyone. And for Santa's final act, he launches a missile toward an Iraqi city. The missile ends up transforming the area into a festive wonderland, but it can also be interpreted as how people in the Middle East require Christianity to be happy. Additionally, the American invasion of Iraq began officially in March 2003, just a few months after the episode came out. So in a way, the episode could be viewed as in favor of U.S. intervention in the Middle East, which resulted in the needless deaths of thousands of American military members and many more Iraqis. It's a relic of another time, but the worst (as far as Christmas specials) was still to come from "South Park" ...
1. Woodland Critter Christmas (Season 8, Episode 14)
"Woodland Critter Christmas" isn't just the most offensive "South Park" holiday special. It's considered one of the best episodes in "South Park" history. It starts off innocently enough, with Stan befriending some adorable animals who want his help in welcoming their savior to the world. Stan's ambivalence toward the whole thing seems like it's going to be the sole joke, only for it to be revealed the critters are Satan worshippers who have zero qualms over sacrificing one of their own and bathing in his blood. And the savior they wanted to welcome into the world? Turns out it's the Antichrist, whom Kyle willingly accepts into his body so that he may conquer the world in the name of the Jews.
The dark twist and blatant antisemitism are revealed to be all the doing of Cartman, who's reading the story as part of a school assignment. But the shocking turn and Satanic imagery would certainly be a lot for some, especially for those watching it for the first time. Between death and orgies, "Woodland Critter Christmas" feels like a culmination of everything "South Park" wanted to achieve with its Christmas episodes. Mr. Hankey, the Christmas poo, is also simultaneously adorable yet crude, but the woodland critters take it to another level.
The episode spits in the face of religion, pop culture, and all that's decent. And we wouldn't have it any other way from "South Park."