14 Best Wednesday Addams Quotes From Netflix's Wednesday
"Wednesday" is not your average teen comedy-drama. The show is based on characters created by "The Addams Family" cartoonist Charles Addams, with daughter Wednesday Addams taking the central role. This Netflix adaptation comes from the minds of Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, the writing duo behind "Smallville" and "The Shannara Chronicles." Every scene penned by them is like a lesson in scriptwriting, and, thanks to this gifted pair, Wednesday delivers witty and sarcastic zingers in pretty much every interaction.
Following her first few scenes at Nevermore Academy (notably her conversation with Principal Weems, in which she remarks that her therapist will be lucky to survive their first session), you can't help but fall in love with Jenna Ortega's character. It's not surprising that the series achieved record-breaking success in the weeks after its release. Hopefully, that means this wonderfully macabre show will get a second season — the showrunners already have three seasons' worth of ideas ready to go.
While we wait for the green light to be given for future seasons, let's take a look back at Wednesday's best lines from "Wednesday" Season 1. Spoilers ahead.
I actually filet the bodies of my victims then feed them to my menagerie of pets
Right off the bat, Wednesday Addams shows off her taste for vengeance, releasing piranha into a pool filled with the boys who bullied her brother. She quips that she did the world a favor when one of them is injured — after all, no one bullies her brother but her. However, her stunt lands her with a one-way ticket to Nevermore Academy. There, some of the students are wary of her, and Ajax (Georgie Farmer) quickly tells Wednesday's roomie Enid (Emma Myers) to watch her back because he's heard the new girl eats human flesh.
At the time, Enid is giving Wednesday a "Wiki on Nevermore's social scene," but Ajax doesn't notice the dark-haired spitfire standing behind her. Wednesday overhears everything he says, and when Enid steps aside, she retorts: "Quite the contrary. I actually filet the bodies of my victims then feed them to my menagerie of pets." While she maintains her cool disposition, the comment knocks the high school gossip right out of Ajax's mouth.
I do like stabbing
In Episode 1, Wednesday displays her complete lack of interest in Nevermore's social scene while Enid gives her the rundown of the school's four main cliques. However, this doesn't stop Enid trying to get Wednesday to participate in school events. In Episode 2 she invites Wednesday to help out with preparations for the Poe Cup, something she's very passionate about, even adding the enticing offer of pizza. "Wanna take a stab at being social?" she asks, hopefully. Straight faced, Wednesday responds: "I do like stabbing. The social part, not so much." Wednesday ponders Enid's offer for a brief moment before declining, claiming socializing would cut into her writing time.
This has become one of Wednesday's most popular lines since the series dropped to rave reviews. It's the perfect blend of truth and wit; while emphasizing her love for violence and solitude, it highlights her disdain for social activities and school spirit. However, in an interesting turn of events, Wednesday joins Enid's team, the Black Cats, later in the episode. When they win, Enid hails her for finally embracing the school spirit and Wednesday notes that she would have embraced it a lot sooner if she'd known it was such a dark and vengeful spirit.
Those are all traits of great writers... Yes, and serial killers
Jenna Ortega has been critically praised for her excellent performance in all eight episodes of "Wednesday." It's probably her scenes with Thing which are most impressive to watch, because, while Ortega is performing all the dialogue, there is still an entertaining back-and-forth dynamic between them. In Episode 2, Wednesday becomes consumed with finding out who the monster is and how Rowan (Calum Ross) is still alive. She tasks her right hand with following him when he leaves Nevermore, ultimately trying to get to the bottom of how he miraculously reappeared. However, what neither of them knows is that Principal Weems (Gwendoline Christie) is impersonating Wednesday's dead classmate, and Thing loses sight of Rowan when she shapeshifts.
Wednesday's single-minded obsessiveness causes her to snap at Thing for losing their only lead, leaving the sensitive little hand feeling hurt. Enid later urges her roomie to apologize to Thing, which she tries to do by saying she will check her tone in the future, but Thing doesn't let it lie. Defending herself against his questions, she says: "I know I'm stubborn, single-minded, and obsessive. But those are all traits of great writers." After a quick machine gun hand gesture from Thing, she adds: "Yes, and serial killers. What's your point?" Thing's point is that Wednesday could easily be either, but the scene takes a more emotional turn and forces Wednesday to admit her greatest fear, which is being responsible for something "bad terrible."
For the record, I don't believe that I'm better than everyone else, just that I'm better than you
One of the best things about Wednesday is that she doesn't care what people think about her. She just does what she wants to do, when she wants to do it. In Episode 2, one thing she wants to do is take Nevermore queen bee Bianca Barclay (Joy Sunday) down a peg or two. After overhearing a conversation between her and Xavier (Percy Hynes White), Wednesday discovers that Bianca already has a plan in motion to destroy all her competition for the Poe Cup, which includes Enid and her team.
After a "garlic bread incident" forces Enid's co-pilot to withdraw from the race, Wednesday deduces this was all part of Bianca's plan and offers to step in — all in the name of humiliation and revenge, of course. Having spent the whole night plotting, Wednesday dons a Catwoman ensemble and joins her teammates. While preparing to begin, Wednesday fires back at Bianca, who is trying to insult her. "For the record, I don't believe that I'm better than everyone else, just that I'm better than you."
The comment harkens back to the previous night when Wednesday overheard Bianca telling Xavier that Wednesday thinks she's better than everyone else. Here, Wednesday sets the record straight, lets Bianca know that she knows what she's up to, and embarrasses her in public. The comment even gets a smirk out of Xavier.
Use the words 'little' and 'girl' to address me again and I can't guarantee your safety
Wednesday is not afraid to get her hands dirty, and when trying out different clubs in Episode 2, she proves that she can pretty much master anything she puts her mind to. She's clearly already an adept martial artist — we saw her take down three normies in the coffee shop without breaking a sweat in the first episode. With this in mind, there's no doubt she could have handled herself against the scary old man she meets in the woods in Episode 3. This time, though, she has Thing by her side, and he enjoys getting his hand dirty, too.
Wednesday is off exploring the remains of Jericho's old meeting house, hoping to find another clue that helps her understand the drawing of her with Joseph Crackstone (William Houston). When she arrives, she finds an old man who's shocked to see a "little girl" and tells her to leave his place. Wednesday stands her ground and says: "Use the words 'little' and 'girl' to address me again and I can't guarantee your safety." Of course, this only seems to make the squatter angrier, and he tries to send her packing. This is when Thing decides to tag in, jumping at the man and strangling him until he retreats.
I usually serve it warm with a side of pain
Even in voiceovers, Wednesday's lines are perfectly timed. While walking back to the town square from the old meeting house, she glares at the new bronze statue of Joseph Crackstone. Having just learned that Jericho's founding father is responsible for killing almost all of the outcasts in town 400 years ago, Wednesday is enraged, and she takes it upon herself to avenge them. In the voiceover, she says: "I don't believe in heaven or hell. But I do believe in revenge. I usually serve it warm with a side of pain."
Although she originally plans to keep a low profile during the dedication ceremony, Wednesday soon decides to burn it all down, quite literally. While playing the cello with the town's orchestra, she sends Thing to enact her plan. He sends a spark across the lawn and into the fountain below the bronze statue, causing a large explosion. As the entire crowd runs for cover, Wednesday sits calmly and continues to play the cello, marveling at what she's accomplished. Her revenge definitely came with a side of pain for the town.
If he breaks your heart, I'll nail gun his
Enid's crush on Ajax is made clear to viewers early in the series. In Episode 3, when they are both volunteering at Uriah's Heap, he seems to reciprocate those feelings. The two agree to meet up later that night behind the greenhouse — a spot known for making out. Enid tells Wednesday about her plans back in their room while trying to decide what to wear. In order to get rid of her so she can get back to her writing, Wednesday tells Enid she's going to be late. "Wish me luck," Enid says before departing.
Of course, Wednesday isn't the kind of person to wish somebody good fortune. Instead, she promises to protect her roomie's feelings from the boy she's going to meet. "If he breaks your heart, I'll nail gun his," Wednesday says. This quote is not only an amusing insight into Wednesday's mind, but it highlights the close bond she's formed with Enid. At the start of the series she made it clear that she thinks having a friend is a weakness, but now she's starting to thaw and feel protective of her roommate.
What kind of dystopian hellscape is this?
Episode 4 of "Wednesday" centers around Nevermore's school dance, the Rave'N, which Wednesday vehemently says she won't attend. However, some undercover sleuthing leads to an unexpected turn of events, and she finds herself asking Xavier to the dance as cover. When Enid discovers that Wednesday does in fact plan to attend, her mind goes to the dress code, and she presses her roomie on her intended outfit choice. Wednesday says she couldn't care less and plans to wear the dress she arrived in (which fans have come to know as Wednesday Addams' signature dress).
Of course, that just won't do for Enid, who insists on taking her monochrome roomie shopping. When they arrive in town, Enid takes Wednesday to a store called "Hawte Kewture," which is awash with pinks and blues and various bright colors. "What kind of dystopian hellscape is this?" Wednesday asks in disgust. Shopping can be stressful at the best of times, but this is an on-point response for someone who is severely allergic to color. Wednesday manages to wriggle out of her shopping trip, letting Enid run freely into the colorful store.
It's not my fault I can't interpret your emotional Morse code
After leaving Enid at that dystopian hellscape of a store, Wednesday heads off to find Sheriff Galpin (Jamie McShane) to suggest that they work together to catch the show's killer creature. She doesn't reveal that Xavier is her suspect, but the sheriff offers to hear her out if she brings him some concrete evidence. On her way out, Wednesday bumps into the sheriff's son Tyler (Hunter Doohan), who's disappointed to learn that Wednesday is attending the dance with someone else (and is even more upset when she tells him it's Xavier), though he doesn't say anything.
Wednesday presses him on his mood, and he calls her out for giving him mixed signals. "It's not my fault I can't interpret your emotional Morse code," she fires back. This extremely relatable one liner is bound to be adopted by viewers. Afterward, Tyler offers to spell out his feelings to Wednesday so that she knows exactly what's going on: He likes her, and he thought she liked him too.
Unrecognizable? Ridiculous? A classic example of female objectification for the male gaze?
When Xavier works out that Wednesday was only going to the dance to spy on him, he passes on the invite. Though she is disappointed about losing access to her lead suspect, Wednesday is happy she doesn't have to participate in a dumb high school ritual. That is, until Thing gets involved. Knowing that she and Tyler have feelings for each other, Thing invites Tyler to the dance on her behalf. When he shows up at her door, she's not expecting him and literally shuts the door in his face.
However, Wednesday would rather go to the dance than turn Tyler away and hurt his feelings, so she searches for something to wear. Thankfully, Thing has planned ahead — Wednesday's trusty sidekick got a five finger discount on the dress she was admiring earlier in the episode. When she comes back out, her appearance has been totally transformed. She even switches out her classic braids for a fancy updo.
In response, Tyler starts to give Wednesday a compliment, but she cuts him off. "Wow, you look..." he says. "Unrecognizable? Ridiculous? A classic example of female objectification for the male gaze?" she retorts. Trust Wednesday to turn a compliment into a discussion about everything that's wrong with school dances. Tyler does, however, finish his compliment, telling her that she looks amazing. They go to the Rave'N to perform that now-iconic dance sequence.
Every day is all about me, this one just comes with a cake and a bad song
One thing you can't miss about this show is that it's Wednesday's world and everyone else is just living in it. This point was really driven home during Wednesday's birthday scenes in Episode 6. Her friends, led by Enid, are kind enough to throw her a surprise party in Crackstone's crypt. They lure her there under the guise of information into her investigation but instead greet her with a cake and the "Happy Birthday" song. Wednesday, not remotely interested in the party, is quick to chastise Thing for his role in organizing it and begins looking for clues in the crypt instead.
She later admits to an unconscious Eugene that she hasn't always hated birthdays, but with everything going on now, it feels too trivial. As the episode progresses, other characters, such as Tyler, wish Wednesday a happy birthday. Her response is, "Birthday, yes. Happy, never." When he presses her on her reasoning, asking if she doesn't at least like a day that's all about her, she responds coolly: "Every day is all about me, this one just comes with a cake and a bad song."
She's both my literary hero and nemesis, and I have two years and 364 days to beat her
One of the biggest differences between "Wednesday" and the "Addams Family" films is that the titular character of the Netflix show is an aspiring author. She dedicates at least one hour per day to writing a novel about a teenage detective named Viper. As Wednesday's real life becomes more and more mysterious, she finds herself drawing inspiration from reality. In Episode 6, she is busy writing about how Viper is being thwarted at every turn while essentially on a house arrest order from Principal Weems, having witnessed Mayor Walker (Tommie Earl Jenkins) get hit by a car.
Ms. Thornhill (played by original Wednesday Addams Christina Ricci) comes to check on her while she's in her room and offers her a birthday gift; a book from her personal library that made her think of Wednesday. It's a copy of the classic gothic novel "Frankenstein," written by Mary Shelley in 1818 when she was just 19 years old. When Ms. Thornhill gives her the book and tells her this, she nods and says, "I know. She's both my literary hero and nemesis, and I have two years and 364 days to beat her." It makes sense that Wednesday has a nemesis, and one who's been dead for centuries at that.
I already have a mother and a therapist, that's enough torture, even for me
The aforementioned bonding moment with Ms. Thornhill was sadly short-lived. In the same scene, Wednesday rejects her teacher's attempts to connect with her. Of course, viewers now know that Ms. Thornhill — or Laurel Gates, as she was formerly known — has ulterior motives for getting close to her student: She plans to use Wednesday's blood to free her ancestor, Joseph Crackstone. However, viewers aren't privy to this upcoming twist yet, so in the Ms. Thornhill scene, it seems as though Wednesday is sending her poor teacher away for caring too much about her.
Ms. Thornhill explains to Wednesday that she's worried Principal Weems is on the verge of expelling her and expresses her concern for Wednesday. Unsurprisingly, Wednesday is not touched by this show of emotion and returns the copy of "Frankenstein" she's just been given. She then tells Ms. Thornhill: "I don't need your help or your pity. I already have a mother and a therapist, that's enough torture, even for me."
Is your spectral vision impaired? I'm dying
Ms. Thornhill's nefarious plan comes to a head in the season finale of "Wednesday." After using Wednesday's blood to unlock Joseph Crackstone's tomb, Thornhill is able to resurrect her ancestor. He immediately mistakes Wednesday for her ancestor Goody Addams (Jenna Ortega plays both characters) and promises her the same fate she gave him. He stabs Wednesday in the gut, twisting the knife and letting her fall to the floor.
As she lies bleeding on the ground, the voice of Goody calls to her. She gives her the information she needs to stop Crackstone, telling Wednesday that he must be stabbed through his cruel, black heart. "It is the only way he will be vanquished now and forever," Goody says. However, Wednesday is not really up for taking instructions at this moment. "Is your spectral vision impaired? I'm dying," she snaps back.
Even on her deathbed, Wednesday is dishing out sarcastic one-liners. Ortega approaches the line in a deadly serious manner, but it's so funny that you can't help but laugh out loud, despite the drama of it all. Thankfully, Goody is not offended by Wednesday's sense of humor. She swiftly heals her descendant and sends her off to stop Crackstone once and for all.