The Malcolm In The Middle Character You Are Based On Your Zodiac Sign
Many fans of the popular 2000s sitcom "Malcolm in the Middle" were elated to hear the news that the show may be coming back in the form of a revival, spearheaded in part by legendary actor Bryan Cranston. The news was broken by none other than "Malcolm in the Middle" star Frankie Muniz, giving the rumors a lot of credibility. While he made sure to add that the revival wasn't a sure thing, the possibility alone has put the show back into the minds of many viewers.
With the renewed interest in the show, there will likely be an influx of people looking to rewatch it or introduce it for the first time to new audiences. As these people are looking back on some of "Malcolm in the Middle's" best episodes, they may begin to wonder which member of the show's surprisingly relatable cast they most resemble. For that, they need look no further than the zodiac. Each of the 12 signs carry unique traits, which coincide with many of "Malcolm in the Middle's" best characters.
Aries: Reese Wilkerson
Aries is the first fire sign of the zodiac, as well as its first sign overall. People born under Aries are represented by the symbol of the ram; like most fire signs, Aries are known to be passionate and carry big personalities. But Aries, in particular, tend to act before they think. Quick to action and quick to anger, they often have very little filter, or none at all, and tend to treat life as if it's a game they have to win.
When hearing these traits, many fans of "Malcolm in the Middle" will likely immediately think of Reese Wilkerson, Malcolm's older brother. Indeed, Reese is a perfect example of the typical Aries personality, and his actions throughout the show, and lack of thought behind them, back that statement up quite nicely. Unlike Malcolm, who likes to talk his way out of things, Reese is quick to get himself into fights, only later realizing that he had little reason to do so.
Reese also carries the typical Aries viewpoint of seeing everything as a game. In "Water Park," he decides it's more important to one-up Malcolm in their revenge pranks than actually enjoy his vacation. Similarly, in "Bowling," when Reese realizes he and Malcolm like the same girl, he challenges Malcolm to see who can impress her more.
Taurus: Stevie Kenarban
Taurus is the first earth sign of the zodiac — and Taureans are known for their down-to-earth personalities, as traits often associated with Taureans include being stable, reliable, patient, and practical. However, a Taurus can also be very stubborn and uncompromising, which can make disagreeing with them a frustrating task.
While none of the Wilkerson boys are known for their pragmatic personalities, Malcolm's best friend Stevie Kenarban is. In fact, Malcolm's friendship with Stevie is often one of the most stabilizing relationships in his life. Like Malcolm, Stevie is very smart, but instead of trying to outdo his friend, Stevie is supportive of Malcolm in his ventures. He is also very patient with his friend, even brushing off many of Malcolm's insults or outbursts, such as in "Stevie in the Hospital," when Malcolm claims he's just looking for attention.
However, Stevie has also been shown to possess a the stubbornness of a Taurus as well. In "Kitty Returns," Stevie quickly makes up his mind to forgive his mother for leaving his family. When Malcolm tries to explain that Kitty should be held accountable for her actions, Stevie shuts him down and temporarily ends their friendship, not even wanting to debate the issue.
Gemini: Malcolm Wilkerson
Gemini is the third sign of the zodiac, as well as the first air sign. Represented by the sign of the twins, Geminis are often seen as having something of a dual nature. On one hand, they're highly intelligent and quick learners, often knowledgeable in many different fields. On the other hand, they tend to hate being trapped in their own minds, with their self-critical nature taking over.
Malcolm Wilkerson, the protagonist of "Malcolm in the Middle," shows many of the classic signs of a Gemini. He's very intelligent, often considered a genius by his school and his family, and never has any reservations about holding that over other people's heads. On the other hand, Malcolm often gets caught up in his own world, leading to his fourth-wall breaking internal monologue. His love of learning is often overtaken by his boredom and need to try something new.
Like many Geminis, Malcolm is also very charismatic, and his personality can be magnetic to strangers who find him intriguing. In "Traffic Jam," Malcolm's brief interaction with a girl named Jessica leads to her quickly growing attached to him (a feeling he reciprocates). In the same episode, Malcolm also displays another Gemini trait, as he uses humor as a crutch to hide how devastated he is to lose her when she goes back to Canada with her family.
Cancer: Piama Tananahaakna
Cancer is the sign of the crab, and the fourth sign of the zodiac; those born between June 21 and July 22 carry its traits. While Cancers are often seen as having "crabby" personalities and being hard to get to know, they are also one of the most protective signs of the zodiac, with their family and close relationships guiding much of their actions.
Piama Tananahaakna becomes a part of the Wilkerson family when she marries Malcolm's older brother Francis, and her relationship with her husband highlights many of Cancers' most widely recognized traits. While Francis is often at odds with his family (and his mother Lois in particular), Piama sees family as an important part of their lives, and acts as a mediator.
While Piama will often suffer in silence when she's being wronged, she's extremely protective of her husband and will go to extreme lengths to protect him. This trait can lead to some extreme scenarios, such as in "Hal's Birthday," when Piama kidnaps the parakeet that belongs to Francis' boss and threatens to kill it if his boss doesn't start treating him better.
Leo: Hal Wilkerson
Leo is the second fire sign of the zodiac, and the fifth sign overall. People born between July 23 and August 22 often carry traits typically associated with Leo. Represented by the Lion, Leos are known to be one of the liveliest signs, with lots of energy that they often devote to various tasks. Leos also tend to be very popular, and are known to be very supportive.
Hal Wilkerson is "Malcolm in the Middle's" best example of a Leo. Hal is typically a laid-back father that is easy to like, and tends to make good impressions everywhere he goes. Like many Leos, when there's something Hal's passionate about, he holds himself and others to high standards. This is best exemplified in the episode "Rollerskates," when Hal tells Malcolm that if he wants to learn to roller skate, he has to commit to it.
At times, Hal also shows the trademark laziness of a Leo, especially when it comes to problems or projects he has little investment in. This often extends to things that Lois wants him to do, or issues that she's going through. In "Lois Strikes Back," when Lois is going on a revenge spree, Hal deliberately ignores the issue by pretending to fix the drawers in the garage while instead playing baseball with a machine he built.
Virgo: Lois Wilkerson
Virgo is the second earth sign of the zodiac, and as such shares many similarities with the other earth signs, Taurus and Capricorn. Like the other two, Virgos are known to be practical and hard-working, but unlike the other earth signs, Virgos take those traits to extreme ends. As such, they are often seen as being "all work and no play," and can be severely over-critical of others.
With that in mind, no character in "Malcolm in the Middle" better fits the traits of a Virgo than Malcolm's mother, Lois Wilkerson. Lois values hard work above anything else in the world, and has a distaste for those who are lazy or cut corners. She is hyper-critical of all of her children, which often puts her at odds with them, especially Francis. Like many Virgos, Lois is very detail-oriented, which makes it difficult for her children to pull off schemes when she's around.
Lois demonstrates her dedication to hard work best in the series finale, "Graduation." In this episode, Malcolm is offered a six-figure job straight out of high school, which gives him the opportunity to skip college. Lois immediately turns it down for him, telling him that he needs to struggle through college and work hard at a lower-paying job in order to earn a better one.
Libra: Abe Kenarban
Libra is the seventh sign of the zodiac. Those born between September 23 and October 24 are ruled by Libra, and tend to carry the traits most often associated with the sign. Represented by the scales, Libras are known for being fair and just. In addition, they often seek out diplomacy over conflict, to the point of typically being confrontation avoidant. Their cooperative nature often makes them good life partners, which is good, because most Libras hate being alone.
In "Malcolm in the Middle," the character that best represents the sign of Libra is Abe Kenarban, the father of Malcolm's best friend, Stevie. Abe is a kind and caring father, who treats his son with respect and fairness, something often lacking in Malcolm's household. Like many Libras, Abe hates to be alone. When his wife Kitty leaves him and runs away, Abe falls into a deep depression, which the Wilkersons do their best to pull him out of.
Abe most clearly shows his Libra traits in the episode "Kitty Returns." When his ex-wife shows up after years of no contact and asks to get back with her family, Abe immediately accepts. Not wanting to spark conflict, he doesn't try to blame her for her actions, and immediately forgives her.
Scorpio: Ida Welker
Scorpio is the eighth sign of the zodiac, and also famously one of its most unique. Scorpios are known to be intense individuals, often very secretive and reserved. They are also known for being intelligent and judgmental, but can be steadfast friends to those who win their trust.
In "Malcolm in the Middle," the best example of a Scorpio may be Ida Welker, a recurring character on the show played by Cloris Leachman. She is the mother of Lois and the Wilkerson brothers' last surviving grandparent after the death of Hal's father. Grandma Ida, like many Scorpios, is an intense and often angry person. She is highly judgmental and actively dislikes several members of the family, including Hal and Francis.
While Ida is typically portrayed as a mean-spirited and terrible person, she occasionally shows a more selfless side to those she considers part of her trusted inner circle. In "Ida Loses a Leg," Ida pushes Dewey out of the way of an oncoming dumpster truck, getting hit and losing a leg in the process. Additionally, in "Graduation," she agrees to help Reese (her favorite grandchild) plot a scheme to create a massive mess at the school in order to save his job as a janitor.
Sagittarius: Dewey Wilkerson
Sagittarius is the third and final fire sign of the zodiac, and those born between November 22 and December 21 are known to carry its traditional traits. Represented by the centaur, Sagittarians are travelers, both physically and metaphorically. They are highly intelligent and love to try new things, but can also be rebellious in nature.
In "Malcolm in the Middle," the best example of a Sagittarius is Dewey Wilkerson. The youngest brother of Malcolm (at least, until the arrival of Jaimie later in the show), Dewey has an intellect that rivals Malcolm's. Like many Sagittarians, he loves learning new things and exploring the world and unfamiliar topics. His curiosity is often expressed in a mischievous and rebellious streak, which tends to leave him grounded by his mother.
Dewey, like many Sagittarians, is also an animal lover. He has a fascination with living creatures. In "Cattle Court," Dewey is shown to be keeping an unknown animal in his drawer, and bring in mice to feed it. He is also shown to be raising an ant colony in "Lois Strikes Back."
Capricorn: Eric Hansen
Capricorn is the final earth sign of the zodiac, and the tenth sign overall. Those born between December 22 and January 19 are ruled by the sign, and tend to carry the traits often associated with it. Capricorn is represented by the ram; like other earth signs, Capricorns are responsible, practical, and dependable. However, they can also be condescending know-it-alls.
Capricorn may best be represented in "Malcolm in the Middle" by Eric Hanson. Eric is initially introduced as one of Francis' fellow students at military school. While the two are friends, they don't always get along, with Eric's condescending nature often leading him to want to prove Francis wrong. For instance, in "Traffic Jam," Eric calls out Francis' bluff that he can eat 100 Quacks, using science to prove him wrong.
Eric can show off Capricorn's responsible and hard-working side as well. In the episode "Houseboat," he drops out of military school in order to take a logging job in Alaska, which prompts Francis to follow his lead. Eric also helps his former commandant from military school to find a new job, but only after telling him off, explaining why he's always failing.
Aquarius: Francis Wilkerson
Aquarius is the 11th sign of the zodiac, and is represented by the sign of the water bearer; those born between January 20 and February 18 tend to carry its most famously associated traits. Aquarians are known for being unique and are often seen as outcasts, usually because they see themselves that way. They are also independent and spontaneous.
Those traits perfectly describe Malcolm's oldest brother Francis Wilkerson. Francis begins the series in military school, having been enrolled by his mother due to his rebellious nature and poor performance in public school. Like many Aquarians, Francis' personal freedom is very important to him, and leads to him making spontaneous decisions, such as running away from military school in the episode "Francis Escapes."
While Francis proves throughout the show's run that he is capable of hard work, it has to be his choice, and he'll refuse to do anything his mom tells him to. In "Graduation," Francis admits to Hal that he has been working a full-time office job, but asks him not to tell Lois, as he wants her to think he's still a rebel.
Pisces: Craig Feldspar
Pisces is the final sign of the zodiac, and is represented by the sign of the fish. Pisces is one of the most romantic signs of the zodiac, and those born under its rule have a tendency to be very intuitive. However, they're also prone to living in a fantasy world, wanting to escape the frustrating reality they live in. This can often happen because Pisceans have a tendency to feel undervalued.
No one in "Malcolm in the Middle" better represents the sign of Pisces than its most undervalued character, Craig Feldspar. Lois' friend and coworker at Lucky Aide, Craig — like many Pisceans — is a hopeless romantic that still pines after Lois, even knowing that she will never leave her husband for him. Because of this, he lets her take advantage of him in numerous ways, such as assuming he'll pick up the shifts that she can't make.
In the episode "Cattle Court," Craig quits his job at Lucky Aide because he feels like Lois looks down on him and doesn't appreciate all the work he does (partially thanks to Malcolm urging him to stand up for himself). He's only convinced to return after Lois tells him that there is a very small chance that they may end up together one day if Hal were to die and she was over 90. Craig is happy to live in this fantasy world, even if the chance of it ever becoming a reality is very small.