Matthew Perry's 5 Snarkiest Chandler Bing Quotes From Friends, Ranked
Matthew Perry was part of an ensemble cast on "Friends," but his character, Chandler Bing, set himself apart early on. In the first episode of the NBC sitcom, Chandler delivers a memorable one-liner. While hanging at the Central Perk coffee shop, a newly separated Ross (David Schwimmer) says he just wants to be married again. On cue, a wedding dress-wearing Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) appears, prompting Chandler to declare, "And I just want a million dollars!"
Over the series' 10-year run, Chandler solidified himself as the king of sarcasm. In the Season 8 episode "The One With the Tea Leaves," Perry's character even admits that he's at his best when he's being sarcastic. When Rachel comes to him looking for advice about her relationship with Joey (Matt LeBlanc), Chandler tells her point blank, "I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
Fans saw Chandler's snarkiness play out in 234 episodes of "Friends." Here are five of our favorite shady lines from the beloved character.
5. I'm sorry, we don't have your sheep
Remember that wedding dress-wearing Rachel from the "Friends" pilot? That wedding dress was from the day she left her ex-fiancé, Dr. Barry Farber (Mitchell Whitfield) at the altar. The cheating "evil dentist" marries Rachel's former best friend Mindy (Jana Marie Hupp) in the season 2 episode "The One With Mindy and Barry's Wedding." This time, Rachel wears a poofy bubblegum pink bridesmaid dress because she's the maid of honor. The awful wedding ensemble includes a huge pink hat embellished with tulle, paving the way for another snarky Chandler line. When Chandler sees Rachel's outfit, he tells her, "I'm sorry, we don't have your sheep." This is a hilarious reference to the famous children's nursery rhyme about Little Bo-Peep, the young shepherd girl who lost her sheep — and even the usually poker-faced Matthew Perry chuckles after he says it.
"Friends" costume designer Debra McGuire reflected on Rachel's "hellacious" maid of honor dress in a 2017 interview, where she dropped a surprising tidbit. "We made all of it, and everything was bad: The taffeta was bad, the color was bad, the puffy sleeves were bad. It was exactly what I wanted," McGuire told Racked of the dress design. "It was such a joke to us, and we had so much fun doing it — and then, wouldn't you know, people contacted us to tell us they honestly loved it! We thought there was no way that anyone would ever want to wear that dress and that hat. Seriously, it blew our minds."
4. Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer
Chandler was a funny guy, but his humor was clearly a cover-up for his awkwardness and deep-rooted issues from childhood. By Season 6, viewers learned that Chandler never cries. In the episode "The One Where Chandler Can't Cry," Joey even tells him he's "dead inside." Indeed, the guy remains stone-faced even through a viewing of the sad parts of the movie "E.T." And as Joey, Monica (Courteney Cox), and Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) get teary-eyed talking about the animated Disney classic "Bambi," Chandler delivers one of his most sarcastic lines from the series. After Chandler reminds the group that "Bambi is a cartoon," Joey asks him, "You didn't cry when Bambi's mother died?" He replies, "Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer."
The funny part about the line is the way Matthew Perry emphasized the word "drawing" to highlight how ludicrous Chandler thought the cartoon deer's death was. Perry once revealed to The Times UK that "Friends" writers wanted his character to place emphasis on certain words. "I was once told that the writers would underline the word not usually emphasized in a sentence just to see what I would do with it," he said.
3. Did she look 16?
"Friends" was known for its A-list guest stars, and in the Season 8 episode "The One With the Rumor," the guest was none other than Jennifer Aniston's then-husband Brad Pitt. Pitt played Ross and Monica's old high school friend, Will, in the Thanksgiving-themed episode. As the gang trades stories of high school angst, it comes out that Ross once made out with the school's 50-year-old librarian, Mrs. Altman. Chandler questions Ross with, "I'm sorry, when you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?" After Ross says, "She didn't look 50!," Chandler fires back with, "Did she look 16?"
Chandler gets another chance at snark when Ross finds a picture of the librarian in the yearbook. "She didn't photograph well!" Ross proclaims, opening the door for a great Chandler line. "She probably wasn't familiar with the process, having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings," he cracks.
Pitt, incidentally, noted that the "Friends" cast laughed a lot on set, no doubt due in part to Matthew Perry's gift for deadpan. "Great cast, man," he told Access Hollywood in 2019. "I mean, they laughed and really had a great time with each other."
2. The fifth dentist caved, and now they're all recommending Trident
One of the biggest mysteries on "Friends" was Chandler's job title. Fans never really knew what he did for a living (no, he wasn't a "transpondster"!), but he could have made a good case for being an ad man. In the Season 2 episode "The One With All The Poker," he references a famous advertising slogan after Rachel excitedly tells the group to guess what her good news is after she scores a job interview at Saks Fifth Avenue. "The fifth dentist caved and they're all recommending Trident?" Chandler replies.
The joke is in reference to a famous slogan for Trident sugarless gum that was created after the company did market research with dental professionals. In the 1970s, the brand's ads claimed, "Four out of five dentists surveyed recommend sugarless gums for their patients who chew gum," per The New York Times. Second-generation "Friends" fans are likely too young for the reference, which is probably why there are Reddit threads and Quora posts devoted to it.
1. You have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance
Chandler Bing's most iconic snarky line came in the Season 2 premiere, "The One With Ross's New Girlfriend," and it even turned out to be a favorite for Matthew Perry. In a memorable scene from the episode, Chandler is looking for a tailor, and Joey suggests Frankie, a family friend who did his first suit for him when he was 15. "Wait. 16," Joey adds. "No, excuse me. 15." Then, "Alright, when was 1990?" In response to Joey's rambling, Chandler says, "OK, You have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance." (Emphasis on resistance.") He then pretends to take a Q-tip from his ear and jam it into his pocket.
In a video posted by Warner Bros. TV, it's revealed that the moment Chandler jokes about Joey injuring his brain with a cotton swab was actually unscripted and Perry did it on the fly. In a 2017 appearance on "Good Morning America," Perry shared that the Q-tip joke was his all-time favorite one-liner from his time on "Friends."